Inspired by our hotgoss series on dating apps , guest writer, Amanda, shares her own story about swiping right and opening her mind to a healthier relationship with online dating.
I joined dating apps out of a voyeuristic sense of curiosity more than anything. I had just gotten out of a marriage that I went into much too young, so I hadn't really ever participated in "hookup culture" or experimented with dating apps. I wasn't exactly a nun before, but joining Tinder was part of my personal ascent to sexual liberation. It was also a chance to join the rest of the people my age that were living and dating in the 21st century. I felt kind of like I was emerging from a Mesozoic era where I had once apparently been.
At first I was fascinated with the apps. Portland is really small, so I liked seeing how people presented themselves on a dating app as opposed in real life, how I knew them. I liked seeing how people presented their good qualities and how they hid their glaring flaws. I said my motivation for joining the apps was so I could spy on my friends and chuckle at their answers to OkCupid questions.
Looking back, if that was my reasoning, how healthy could my relationship with them be? But, I did meet some great people online. I met one of my dearest friends on Bumble, and yes, I met my husband on Tinder. When I first started using the apps it was clear to people who came across my profile that I wasn't taking it super seriously. My Tinder bio simply said "I'm not here for boys.
I'm not here for girls. I'm here to save rock n' roll. The moments I matched with someone I knew already, usually from a distance, made me approach Tinder conversations differently.
