Day one, I was already beginning to regret it. I was so desperate to redirect my career path, to get out of my miserably monotonous life in Denver, and to return to a city that I loved so dearly, that I withheld my premonitions about this peculiar arrangement. To add to the peculiarity of all this, I arrived in London only to discover that he had recently reunited with his other ex-girlfriend, and that I would be sharing his Wimbledon bedroom on an inflatable mattress shoved in the corner.
They say there are four people you should never sleep with: your coworker, your boss, your roommate, and your ex. Somehow I managed to combine all of those into one. Although it had been three years since we had dated, and we were comfortable in our platonic friendship, it was hard to not be attracted to the incredibly talented and charismatic filmmaker I once fell for.
This new relationship with him was supposed to be strictly business; I reminded myself that I accepted his offer because of my admiration for his work and the exciting opportunity to collaborate with him. His new lady was nothing but lovely, and obviously a better fit for his erratic personality. I figured it was the best decision for both of us. The familiarity of our prior relationship certainly played a part in giving me the confidence to pursue this path in the first place, but that was abruptly stripped away.
Now I was the imposing ex-girlfriend in so many unanticipated ways, and yet I had to grin and bear it for the sake of our professional relationship. But for the first time in a long time, I needed a lot more help than I was able to reciprocate.
My living, financial, and personal arrangements were becoming very unstable, and I was nervous. The clientele in London was so high-profile and exciting, but the extent of my social life ended with an after-work pint. The loneliness began to overshadow my professional achievements. I had no real friends in London aside from my ex, and now he was always with his girlfriend. I was vulnerable and felt more out of place than I had ever experienced.
