Most of us who have sexual relationships experience a moment of feeling sexually rejected by their partner. It may be that your sexual partner hasn't initiated sex for a while, or even just a day where they're tired and aren't interested in physical intimacy. But when does feeling rejected become a problem? And how can we address this in our relationships? If it is a one-time rejection of a sexual advance, then it may not be a huge deal. Experiencing sexual rejection every so often can be normal.
After all, we're not always on the same page when it comes to intimacy. However, some studies have shown that continual sexual rejection can lead to depressive symptoms and decreased relationship satisfaction. It's important when exploring rejection in a romantic relationship to look at things honestly and objectively. Which can be difficult because emotions are high when sexual intimacy is involved. However, when we are in our feelings and concerned about sexual satisfaction, it's essential to understand whether we are actually being sexually rejected or simply believe that we are.
Sexual rejection isn't necessarily at play when a partner rejects sexual intimacy. Sometimes it can be a physical challenge like the old "headache" excuse, but someone really could be feeling badly and not want to initiate sex or participate in sex , or it could be an emotional disconnect that is fleeting. However, sexual rejection over time can become frustrating, especially in monogamous couples where one partner is more sexually active and wants more sex than the other.
In the long term, relationship satisfaction can decrease over time, and have a negative impact on mental health. James Kim, a psychologist with the University of Toronto, and some of his colleagues performed a study with a sample of married couples and found four different rejection strategies.
If you have an otherwise healthy relationship, then the way you deal with sexual rejection can impact your sex life in important ways. No one should ever be forced to have sex against their will, but there are ways to maintain connection even when you're not in the mood. If you are not the one who typically initiates sex, then you may give this a try. Sometimes responsive desire can be stronger when you do something unexpected. If you are feeling rejected, remember that this is simply an emotional reaction.
