I'm married now, but were something to happen to my husband, I don't think I could stomach trying online dating again. Tinder was the one I chose, but I never went on a date with anyone I met. Then later that year, Bumble came out, and it was kinda revolutionary. By then, I'd heard about Hinge. I used them on and off through The 'marketplace for people' thing hasn't changed, but apps make it easier than actual dating sites to kind of view people as commodities on paper instead of people, because on sites, you have more opportunity to actually write as opposed to just answering prompts to go with pictures.
I think it's easier to find people who are already in your extended friend network, which may lead to a better chance for success. If you meet online and don't get together in person within about a week, I feel like chatting creates a false sense of intimacy. If you don't feel the same attraction when you meet in person, that intimacy can be hard to dial back.
I've gone on dates after weeks of chatting, and their physical presence didn't match what I'd created in my mind, and it definitely threw me. I've used pretty much every website there is throughout the years. I ended up in a few good relationships, I had spectacularly shitty dates, I was assaulted on a date, etc.
Yet, I'm still trying but not sure if I still believe there's someone out there for me. My guess is that people are matching with hundreds of other people but not actually engaging with anyone. It's bleak, but being queer and not having tons of options of where to meet new people in the real world , I've no idea what's the best option to find actual dates not hookups and sometimes just want to give up. Now I'm 51, and I'm averaging dates a year that don't go anywhere for any variety of reasons.
I've also been stood up a number of times. I realize that this all may partly be a function of where I live NYC, ageist af , but overall, it honestly sucks.
