The other day, I found myself excitedly planning several things I wanted to do to surprise my husband. If I surprise him by washing and vacuuming out the car, maybe, just maybe , he would surprise me with a Starbucks coffee on his way home from work. God quickly revealed to me that this is one of the issues in dating and marriage relationships. We often do things so we can receive back.
We often do things so they can be marked off a checklist rather than our hearts genuinely desiring to serve and sacrifice for our spouse. Jesus showed us, on numerous accounts , the ultimate example of loving others and sacrificing without the intent of having favors returned. He loves wholeheartedly, sacrificially, compassionately, and purely. What an example to apply to marriage and relationships in general.
Too often, we focus on all of the things we are doing within the walls of our marriage that we forget to look up to see the sacrifices that our spouse makes. We want our spouse to invite us on dates, send us flowers just because, thank us for all of our hard work, appreciate our child-rearing, yet we forget that marriage is two-sided.
Marriage IS sacrifice. God desires our hearts to be so focused on Him that we desire to serve our spouse nonstop. Instead of hoping my husband returns the favor when I go out of my way to serve him, I need to be more focused on my intent to serve. On who I am really doing it for. If my intent is self-seeking, then my heart is in the wrong place and will probably not produce the results I am looking for or rather, the results God hopes and plans for my marriage.
Selfless acts of service can change the entire theme of our households. It has unlimited and unending ripple effects. It will change the dynamics of the relationship with our spouse, it will change the way we parent, and it will change the way our children view service, marriage, and a relationship with Christ.
