Because it sounds like your friend was mainly trying to tell you to expand your horizons. Open your eyes to other men who may interest you, regardless of race. While you may not be interested in that idea β from whomever may suggest it β you might not think it was racist if it came from someone else.
That said, talk to your friend about it. Ask her about whatever is worrying you. But ask her, and talk through your thoughts and feelings about dating and race. Allow this moment to be a potential breakthrough in your understanding of how you both think about this sensitive topic. This is nerve-wracking. Discreetly use your smartphone, if you have one, to capture him doing something strange or out of turn. Then when you talk to him about whatever the transgression is, if he denies it, show him the footage as proof that it occurred.
Tell him you are worried about him and think that he needs help. Explain why you feel that way. Point out his erratic behavior, his persistent forgetfulness and any other indicators of his dissociative state. Encourage him to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, find a therapist and stop drinking.
You might benefit from going to an Al-Anon meeting yourself al-anon. You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole. By Harriette Cole askharriette harriettecole.
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