Or just how bottomless it seems. I had delayed downloading dating apps for years, dreading the thought of dealing with the ghosting, the scamming, the endless barrage of unwanted dick pics. But this year, I finally gave in to the inevitable. In my inexperience, I was convinced I had this in the bag. I envisioned a full social calendar and some great stories. Instead, I deleted all the apps within a month, without ever having an actual in-person date.
The catalyst? But this fellow took initiative. A little too much initiative. I thought he was joking, but as soon as I realized he was not, told him that was way too much pressure for a first date and I had been thinking something like coffee or brunch.
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I woke up the next morning to a text that he had gone ahead and gotten a hotel, and he was there now, did I want to get breakfast? I was incredulous, then extremely uneasy. I hardly wanted to leave the house, even to walk my dog. My mind flashed back to how easily he had googled me before I had even given him my last name apparently a search of my profession and county in which I live is plenty and how he commented on things that would have required deep, deep scrolling in my IG feed.
I finally replied to his text that him ignoring my clearly stated wishes not to book a hotel made me very uncomfortable, and I no longer wanted to meet now, or ever. The pool is stocked with similar species. I think I handled myself well, but I do wish I had been better prepared for the realities of online dating later in life before I ever made my first profile.
Realties like:. Start with the right mindset. Though I cringe to admit it, this was me. Indeed, that could be why one study found that users of online dating have higher rates of depression and social anxiety. Set healthy limits. I found this out firsthand when my careful plan to set aside 15 minutes a day for online dating went out the window as I compulsively swiped past midnight, then checked if there had been any action immediately upon waking.
