How would I even bring up the idea without being seen as creepy? There are two key components to finding a friends-with-benefits relationship, NSOM. The first is, ultimately, a marketing issue: finding people who might be interested and getting your message out to them in an appealing manner. Trying to achieve this can be tricky. The problem is that pretty much all of them suck in bed, and most of them will call her a slut and a whore afterwards. So your approach has to be two-fold.
First: fine tune your profiles. You can send the message of what it is you are looking for without hitting that particular NOPE button.
Think of the story your dating profile tells β are you telling the story of a man looking for that special someone to settle down with and find that house in the suburbs with the white picket fence? Are your pictures lining up with those goals? Or are they cozy and domestic β showing you playing with your cute niece or nephew, cooking in the kitchen, hanging out with your sweet Grandma?
The same goes with your Tinder profile. The former tends to imply relationship, the latter is slightly more indicative of someone not looking for Mrs. And going on dates is going to be important, because this will be how you build the connection with your potential FWBs. One of the most important β and sadly neglected β aspects of trying to find a casual relationship is creating a sense of safety and respect. One of the biggest reasons why guys have a hard time finding casual sex is that they tend to focus on the short term, immediate goal: get her into bed as soon as humanly possible.
They want to bang that night, if not sooner. As a result, they often push too hard, too quickly and ultimately snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The best and most successful lovers out there are the ones who create a space where women feel safe and empowered to say yes, rather than badgering her to give in. This knowledge will help filter out matches who are going to be looking for something longer-term.
