But how did it all come to this? How did such an amazingly Intelligent and Foolproof plan go so tragically… ummm… off course? Looking for answers, we spent the better part of the morning querying our friends in the WhatsApp groups that we are trapped in.
Then we walked around Dizengoff Center pestering strangers until we had enough data points to create this extensive list of Top Ten Clues that Your Humanitarian Pier is in Trouble:. Tel Aviv: The Daily Freier has run afoul of journalistic standards and now faces public censure. Something like this has never happened to us in the 9-year history of our newspaper. Except that time. Also that time.
And that other time. Weiss reminded us that trying to get laid on Secret Tel Aviv during a crisis was popularized during Corona and that this was not a big deal. Then he told us to go away. Keep it up Jonny! Based on a True Story! Or a freezer. Or a pantry. Now oversharing Anglo Olim are seeing their natural habitat shrinking, and Secret Jerusalem is their last big refuge.
Wait, where were we? To maintain their hechsher, employees from the Rabbanut will even accompany the chefs and randomly inspect the kitchens of the people who give them their ingredients. The Daily Freier stopped by to talk to some very excited customers. Shayna opened her phone. Did he get lost in Binyan Clal or something?
So the United States Embassy in Jerusalem decided that they want to be the Capitol of Buzzkills, because nobody can get appointments for nothing. You see, the Embassy has been in a bit of a funk ever since they had to move from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. How do we know this? Right now we are on a bunch of these groups, where Olim are complaining and sending around petitions demanding that the Embassy give us some appointments.
