Making new friends in Tulsa can present its own challenges. Many people who were raised here grew up with their best friends and wider social network. They went to school together, attended church together, and have known one another since they were little. Some are open to new friends, but many already have their social cliques locked in. Tulsa is full of overlapping communities, chatty people who love striking up conversations in public, and thousands of recent transplants looking to make new friends too.
I had a COVID pod with some people in my building, and we kept each other sane and socialized during the winter of It was fun while it lasted, but the group naturally fell apart in the spring. I found myself part of another large friend group.
It was gutting. Especially when a few months later, two friends in the group threw a joint party, and others pulled together to get them a surprise gift. I felt sad and out of place. I saw others quickly find their people and felt like I was doing something wrong. I knew and got along with tons of people in Tulsa, and had close individual friends, but it felt like I was cycling through friend cliques and failing to find the group where I truly belonged.
Thankfully, I figured it out. I started being more emotionally honest with myself and others, and less of a people-pleaser, and I directed my time toward what I was passionate about, like writing, the arts, and novel experiences.
I also connected with others involved in producing the musical whom I often see around town. Everyone has a different experience when it comes to making friends as an adult, so I surveyed friends and people in my community, and they shared their tried-and-true methods for making friends in Tulsa. Spoiler: the big winners were sports leagues and church, but there are still ample ways to make friends in Tulsa for the less athletic or religiously-inclined. The biggest advantage Tulsa offers when it comes to making new friends is its size.
